From CH Staff on
The dinosaurs face a fate worse than the blue screen of death.
By Kevin Corrigan, Brian Murphy & Caldwell Tanner
Episode begins with a modified, Halloween intro. INT. PRINTER AREA This episode has a horror-movie feel. CRAIG, dressed as a pumpkin, waits by the printer. It beeps and displays an error. Craig grunts and bangs on the printer. CREEPY JANITOR (O.S.) Careful now, printer like that could drive a man to madness. Craig, startled turns around. CREEPY JANITOR, a gray-mustached ankylosaurus with a crazy eye, stands over his shoulder. CREEPY JANITOR Some say it's cursed, others say the drivers weren't properly installed. Craig turns back to the printer. CRAIG Maybe it's just... spooling? Reveal, Creepy Janitor has disappeared. Craig is confused. INT. CUBICLES SHEILA, a sexy witch, and TODD, a palm tree, are chattin'. SHEILA I love trick or treaters, but the leftover sweets are such a temptation. TODD I just leave out a bowl to keep people from ringing my doorbell. Craig grumps over. CRAIG What's with that creepy, old janitor? He gives me the heebie-jeebies. TODD You mean Old Brooms Mackenzie? He hasn't worked here in five years. Dramatic sound. Craig is wide-eyed. TODD They should really deactivate his employee access card. Craig at his computer. He clicks print. Error: Out of paper. Craig slams the desk and lets out a crazed growl. INT. PRINTER AREA Craig approaches the printer with a stack of paper. He opens the paper tray. It's full. Dramatic sound. Craig yelps and throws all his paper into the air.¬† He looks around. Craig is at his computer, twitching. He tries printing.¬† Error: "Printer Offline."¬† Craig shakes with fury. CRAIG Printer Offline!? Suddenly, Craig hears RICHARD hum off screen. Craig gets up and sees Richard, wearing a sheet ghost costume, successfully printing. CRASH ZOOM on the paper printing. Dramatic sound. Background recedes around Craig. CRAIG (head tilting) Printer, on-line? CUT TO: Craig at his desk, crazed and muttering. Sheila approaches. SHEILA I like your costume, Craig. You make a handsome gourd. Craig's screen is filled with "All jam and no print makes Craig a dull dino." He keeps clicking print. SHEILA (noticing the screen) Craig? Craig hits "print." Success! Job accepted. Craig, startled, lets out a crazed laugh. Richard and Todd pop their heads over the cubicle wall and stare. Craig runs off. CUT TO: Craig eagerly approaches the printer. He goes to grab his document. It's not there. He looks all over the printer, it's not anywhere. He looks at the display. Three rapid zooms on printer with dramatic music. The screen reads "Printer ready, no jobs in queue." ZOOM OUT to Craig, eyes twitching with insane rage. He laughs maniacally. Horror music swells. INT. TERRY'S OFFICE Todd, Richard, and Sheila rush in and slam the door. TERRY is behind his desk dressed as Dracula. SHEILA Terry something's wrong with Craig! RICHARD He's goin' bananas! They hear Craig trampling and hide. Craig's horn slams into the door 3x, making a hole as Sheila cowers against the wall. SHEILA Oh dear! Oh dear! Craig smashes his head through. CRAIG Here's Craig-o! Sheila cowers. TERRY Hey Craig, were you trying to print from my printer? Music cuts out. Craig snaps out of it. CRAIG Wait, is your printer Dinomark X73? TERRY Yep, here ya go. Terry hands him a stack of documents. Craig stares at them. O.S. the janitor laughs maniacally. Reveal him behind Craig. Horror music swells. It cuts out before Terry speaks. TERRY Mr. Mackenzie you don't work here anymore. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. CREEPY JANITOR You ain't seen the last of ol' Broomsy! TERRY OK, keep in touch!