It's not TV, it's free HBO.
By Patrick Cassels
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
A young MAN and a pretty WOMAN sit on a couch, laughing and
having a drink. There are two empty plates in front of them.
Okay. I should head out.
Sorry, I'm like, obsessed with Game
of Thrones on HBO right now, and
I've got the next episode DVR'd.
"Winter is coming!" Haha.
DON'T GO! I mean, sorry, but we can
watch it here. I have HBO Go. It's
like HBO on your computer. But you
still need the TV subscription to
That sounds illogical.
It is. I'll get my laptop!
He crawls over the couch and runs into his...
INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
He peeks to make sure the Woman isn't looking, then dials
his phone. MUSIC CUE: The (royalty-free!) theme from
INT. LIVING ROOM 1 - CONTINUOUS
DAD is in a living room, reading a thick military history
book titled, "Solid Handshakes of World War II." His phone
rings and he answers it.
Dad, I need your HBO GO password.
Ah geez. You know I really
shouldn't keep giving you the
password like this. It's basically
Come on, Dad!
Just hold on while I find it...
Dad puts the phone down and takes a nervous breath.
INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
HANK, another fatherly type, is on the phone with the Dad.
Jim, what the H-E-double hoser
sticks are you doing calling at
I need your HBO GO password! Again!
You're yanking my chain!
Me and Margie are gonna get our own
subscription tomorrow, and that's a
promise. But I got my son on the
horn and, well, you'd be doing me a
I think it's on the freezer.
He puts the phone down.
Shit shit shit shit.
EXT. KWIK-E-MARK - MOMENTS LATER
DYLAN, a junior high student, rides his BMX with friends.
Hank, still in his PJs, runs up, drenched in sweat.
Dylan! I need the HBO GO password
you gave me. Again.
EXT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
A slick WALL STREET type in his OFFICE. He does a line of
coke and picks up a phone.
...I need your HBO GO password.
I gave you that password in good
Dylan listens into his phone. Hank/Mr. Dabrowski is in the
distant background, waiting impatiently.
WALL STREET (VO)
And how do you repay my generosity?
SMASH CUT to a GANGSTER, on the phone. He chews out the
By handing it out to some punk with
no cable and a hard-on for "Treme?"
Does the concept of personal
CUT TO an Old Woman on the phone with the Gangster.
...man NOTHING to you? That
password was a symbol of trust. The
only people I gave it to were you,
QUICK CUTS of sillier password smugglers yelling:
The guy who checks my gas meter.
This nice family I met at Six
The 1986 New York Mets.
CUT TO a ROCK STAR on stage. (We only see him and a few
heads, but lights and SFX suggest a huge arena.)
And everyone here tonight!!!
DISTANT PERSON IN CROWD (O.C.)
So... do you have the password?
This kicks off a quicker series, tracing our chain of
password-seekers down the line:
Do you have the password?
I really need that password.
Do you have the password or not?
The password, Dylan!
The password, Hank!
Dad, do you have the password?
CUT TO BARACK OBAMA in a DARKENED OFFICE.
Everyone wants it, sir. And it
turns out you're the original
REVERSE SHOT reveals TONY SOPRANO (in footage taken from a
Dr. Melfi "Sopranos" scene).
So... can I have it?
Go fuck yourself.
INT. ORIGINAL APARTMENT
Our original Man. The pretty Woman walks out.
(calling after her)
I still have Hulu Plus!