2 fast, 2 embarrassing.
By Emily Axford & Brian Murphy
INT. ELVEN TREE APARTMENT
ELOWYN, surrounded by an aura of white, finishes an
And so he climbed the mountain bare
/ and snatched the crown from the
The song ends. Her two elf friends, ACHEWON and LEKE, clap
enthusiastically. Pan over to BRIAN.
Babe. That. Was. Awesome. You could
be on The Voice. Levine's team.
CUT TO: TITLECARD
'Twas the tale of Lasuen, a warrior
He is one of our greatest heros!
Tell us, Brian, who are the legends
of your people?
Brian is put on the spot.
Okay, wow, so many to choose from,
hmm, well, I guess the bravest
warrior I can think of, top of the
dome, is- Vin...Diesel.
Vin Diesel. He sounds most
(getting into it)
Oh my God. So fearsome. He probably
benches like 375, he only wears
wife beaters, and he's completely
Sing us a song of his journeys!
Everyone is super into this idea. Brian looks so scared.
Yes! Yes! A song.
(leans into him)
I'd love to hear a song of your
Brian does some pathetic vocal warm-ups.
There once was a man stronger than
all of us / he drove cars so fast
and so furious
Everyone looks enthralled.
he was being chased by The Rock /
the nation's toughest cop / cause
he was wanted...
(going into Bon Jovi)
...dead or alive.
Who is this "The Rock?"
(totally into it now)
Uh, he's like 6'5", tribal tats,
totally yolked, survived the Stone
Cold Stunner. You guys don't know
what that is, but it's worse than
They gasp in awe.
He sounds like a worthy companion
for the Diesel.
Yes, but, well, at first they're
like against each other, but
then... y'know what, I'll just keep
going with it-
Brian starts to sing again, just as badly as before, but
this time with more confidence. This time, music accompanies
him and he glows with a white aura.
The Rock and Vin Diesel did battle
/ Through walls and windows they
tackled / but after a series of
events / they would become friends
/ and take down Rio's biggest drug
Music cuts out. Brian wipes away a tear, proud.
Leke holds up a Blu Ray case of Fast Five.
(looking at the back)
Is this the Vin Diesel you were
What? No, that's a- yes.
Silence. Brian is ashamed. Everyone is embarrassed for him.
You sang the plot of a movie to us.
There is a beat of weird silence.
Do you guys wanna watch it?
(whispered just to Brian)
I don't think they like you.