It's love at first bite. Our new series for the Nintendo 3DS!
By Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Owen Parsons
STEVE, 20s, boogie boards. He rides a wave, then paddles out
to do it again. He catches another wave, but-Oh shit! BEAR
is riding SHARK like a boogie board right behind him. The
two bite furiously as they gain on Steve. Just as they're
about to eat him, a hand reaches down and yanks Steve up to
safety on a pier. BEVERLY, way cute, breathes a sigh of
relief with Steve.
Shark leaps straight up out of the water. Bear wields
Steve's boogie board like a baseball bat. He slams Shark at
Steve and Beverly like a home run. Right on the moment of
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE CARD: BEAR-SHARK!
Shark flies toward Beverly in a slow motion spiral. Steve
pulls Beverly out of harm's away. Their eyes catch each
other and they instantly fall in love. Behind them, still in
slow-motion, Shark falls to the pier. He squirms like a fish
out of water and bites at them. They walk off off.
Note: From here on Steve and Beverly mostly ignore bear and
shark. They are unfazed by the attacks.
Steve is burying Beverly in the sand and sculpting a mermaid
tail for her. A REAL FISH TAIL pops out of the sand-tail and
waves around. Steve is confused. The rest of the sand comes
off. REVEAL shark has Beverly in his mouth from the waist
down. Steve yanks Beverly out. Shark lunges for them, but
falls face first into the hole Beverly was in. He waves his
tail, but is stuck. Steve and Beverly laugh, then hold
EXT. CITY - FORTUNE TELLER
Beverly wants to go in. Steve decides "aw what the heck."
INT. FORTUNE TELLER ROOM
Beverly and Steve stare into a crystal ball as FORTUNE
TELLER waves her arms around, mystically. Smoke clears in
the ball. Bear can be seen inside. REVEAL Bear's head is
actually inside the ball. He stands up, lifting the table
with him. Beverly and Steve are startled and flee. Bear,
still wearing table, pursues them off-screen. The Fortune
Teller clears her throat. Beat. Bear returns and opens his
wallet, gives the fortune teller a dollar. Fortune teller
points to a "$5" sign. Bear grumbles, gives her four more
EXT. CITY - RAINING
Steve puts his jacket over a puddle on the ground for
Beverly. Shark immediately chomps down on the jacket from
inside the puddle. Steve and Beverly walk around him as
Shark chokes on jacket.
EXT. THEME PARK - CARNIVAL GAME
Steve and Beverly see a MILK BOTTLE GAME. REVEAL Shark
working the game, disguised as a carnie with hat, mustache
and cane. Steve throws the ball at the bottles, knocking
over all but one. Shark bumps the stand so the last bottle
falls over and congratulates Steve. He holds out Steve's
prize. It is Bear, disguised as a teddy bear. Beverly
signals that she doesn't want it, and that Shark should give
it to a nearby ORPHAN KID instead. Orphan Kid takes bear.
Bear begrudgingly eats him.
Steve and Beverly ride a tandem bike. Bear and Shark try to
follow on a tandem bike, but shark's fins can't reach the
peddles. They wobble and fall into the bushes. Bear and
Shark pop up from the shrubs in time to see Steve kneel down
in front of Beverly & propose. Beverly blushes, nods. They
embrace. Bear and Shark look sad and sulk off.
We hear wedding bells. Pan down to see Steve and Beverly
being married by a priest. The priest gestures for them to
kiss. Tight shot on Beverly smiling. Steve goes in for a
kiss. Beverly pulls back her veil, then pulls off her face
to reveal she was BEAR THE WHOLE TIME. Bear unzips the rest
of his Beverly costume. Steve's jaw drops in terror.
Jetski noise. Steve spins in time to see Shark and ANOTHER
BEAR pull up on a jetski. Shark unzips Another Bear's
costume, revealing Beverly! Steve reaches in her direction,
as if you say "Oh no! My love is in danger!" Beverly turns
to Shark and MAKES OUT with him on the jetski.
Steve tears up. Just as he starts crying, Bear abruptly
shoves him off the pier. Shark leaps and catches Steve,
still crying, inside his mouth. Shark and Bear high-five in
one fluid motion.
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE CARD APPEARS - BEAR SHARK!
TITLE CARD: Next time on BEAR SHARK!
EXT. ULTRA-TOKYO III
GIANT BEAR ROBOT and GIANT SHARK ROBOT stand amidst the
ruins of downtown. ANIME STEVE cowers below.
INSERT: Split-screen of Bear and Shark in their cockpits
The two robots transform into one single BearSharkbot a-la
Voltron. Steve makes a HOW CAN THIS BE? face. Bearsharkbot
picks up Steve and eats him very mechanically.