By Patrick Cassels
This is a parody of the TV show "Homeland," using a mix of real "Homeland" clips and newly shot footage. EXT. BRODY'S GARAGE - LIVING ROOM SHOW FOOTAGE EST SHOTS of the Brody household, followed by a wide of NICHOLAS BRODY, in uniform, entering his garage. (Note: We should avoid any clear shots of Brody's face in these.) NEW FOOTAGE POV BRODY'S CAMERA: Brody steps out from behind the camera, in uniform, and addresses the camera in the exact same manner as the B&W jihad video from the TV show. BRODY My name is Nicholas Brody, and I'm a sergeant in the Marines. By the time you read this you'll have read a lot of things about WHAT I'VE DONE. (beat; then, still serious) I'm also an aspiring musician. So please rate and subscribe after I upload this to my YouTube channel. He raises an acoustic guitar into frame and plays . BRODY (singing Blink 182) All the small things/True care truth brings... His voice cracks on "brings." He tunes the guitar. BRODY Crap, sorry, one sec... CUT TO BLACK. INT. MIDDLE-EASTERN HOTEL SHOW FOOTAGE SAUL finds a MEMORY CARD hidden in a terrorist's seized backpack. He plugs it into a laptop and watches: NEW FOOTAGE Brody addresses camera. His stiff military rigor has been replaced with a sniffling, tech geek demeanor. BRODY Hey, it's Nick Brody again. And I'm really excited to unbox the new, uhhh, Motorola Droid RAZR. He picks up the camera and points it at a SMARTPHONE BOX in his other hand. He shows the box off to camera. BRODY K, gotta pretty nice box here. Can't wait to turn this baby on and use it to detonate a bomb. SHOW FOOTAGE Saul stares at the laptop, horrified. CUT TO BLACK. INT. CARRIE'S LIVING ROOM SHOW FOOTAGE Saul sits down with a curious CARRIE and opens his laptop in front of her. Carrie watches: NEW FOOTAGE POV BRODY'S CAMERA: Brody, now in a dorm-like room and wearing a backwards hat, holds the camera at himself. BRODY Yo! Brody up in this bitch! I'm about to prank my boy Abu Nazir, hardcore! Brody shuffles the camera to a sleeping ABU NAZIR. BRODY Look at him, snoozin' like a chump. Time to antique him, Brody style! Brody reaches into a bag of FLOUR and whips it at Nazir's face. Nazir jumps awake, coughs, and whines. ABU NAZIR Not cool, Brody! SHOW FOOTAGE CARRIE I was right, Saul! CUT TO BLACK. INT. ESTES'S HOUSE SHOW FOOTAGE Saul plays the tape for his boss, ESTES. NEW FOOTAGE Brody, now in a teenage girl's bedroom, sits cross-legged on the foot of his bed, smiling. BRODY (like a teen) Hiiiii! It's Nicky Bee here. I just got back from Macy's and I thought you guys might want to check out my haul. So here we go! Brody lifts a cute VEST into frame. BRODY First up, this adorable vest I got for--wait for it--nine dollars! Brody opens the vest. The inside is lined with EXPLOSIVES and SHRAPNEL (screws, ball bearings, etc.) BRODY Next, I got this shrapnel and explosive gel from a Russian arms dealer. CUT TO BLACK. INT. BRODY HOUSEHOLD (LIVING ROOM) SHOW FOOTAGE JESSICA, DANA, CHRIS and MIKE sit on the couch as they're questioned by CIA AGENTS. Chris points to the TV. CHRIS Look. It's dad on TV. NEW FOOTAGE POV BRODY'S CAMERA: Brody stands in his garage again. BRODY My name is Nicholas Brody, and I'm... a sergeant in the Marines. The recording goes into a series of JUMP CUTS: BRODY (Jack Nicholson impression) Jack Nicholson! (Christopher Walken) Uh, Chris Walken! (Schwarzenegger) Da Govenuh of Cal-ee-fornia! SHOW FOOTAGE Jessica and the kids the watch in horror. MIKE Turn it off, Chris. JESSICA No! We need to see this. All of us. NEW FOOTAGE Brody continues his dumb impressions. BRODY (Borat) From Uzubekistan, jagshemash! (Charlie Sheen) Winning! (The Mask) Smmmmmmmokin! HARD CUT: SHOW FOOTAGE CIA Headquarters EXPLODES. END. POST-HUH/CREDITS FOOTAGE NICK BRODY improvises an annoying "Fred" like vlog post.