Bear and Shark get fired.
By Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Owen Parsons
EXT. MEDIEVAL CASTLE
A regal score plays as we pan across a whimsical landscape.
Suddenly, STEVE, a 20-something dressed in peasant's
clothes, runs frantically towards the distant castle. Behind
him, BEAR rides a mighty steed and wields SHARK like a
sword. He lifts Shark into the air He-Man style while their
horse rears back majestically. A bolt of lightning strikes
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE CARD: BearShark! (music should be
Steve continues to the castle. Bear lowers Shark like a
jousting pole and charges forward. Shark snaps at Steve, who
narrowly avoids getting chomped and speeds up. The castle
comes into view, it's gate is slowly closing, but there's
enough of a gap for Steve to slide under. He's going to make
it! Just then, a huge DRAGON lands in front of him on the
bridge roars loudly and breathes fire. Steve can't believe
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE CARD: Dragon?!? (written out in the
style of an illuminated manuscript)
The dragon grabs Steve and takes flight. Both Bear, Shark,
and Steve all look equally dumbfounded. Bear quickly snaps
out of it and javelin-launches Shark upwards to retrieve
Steve. Without missing a beat, Dragon slaps Shark with his
tail, sending him mouth-first towards Bear. He lands,
swallowing Bear up to the waist. Bear freaks out and tries
to pull him off. He finally frees himself, then angrily
glances at Shark, who motions upward to where Dragon is
escaping with Steve. Bear frantically looks around. We zoom
out to reveal a CATAPULT next to the castle. Bear and
Shark's faces light up and they rush over to it. Bear hops
in the bowl, and uses Shark's teeth to saw the rope free. A
loud SPROING! is heard as they are launched forward.
Still in the dragons clutches, Steve crosses his arms and
grumpily looks around. Behind him, Bear and Shark fly into
view. Steve gasps. They both pull out forks and knives as
they close in, but suddenly their expression changes. We see
the dragon swoop down and into a cave surrounded on all
sides by jagged, spiky rocks. Bear and Shark are terrified.
They hug each other in fear. We see a POV shot of the spikes
fast approaching. They close their eyes and brace for
EXT. DRAGON CAVE
A mountain goat grazes at the mouth of the cave. Sharp
spikes can be seen on all sides. The goat baaas for a beat,
and then is crushed by Bear and Shark landing directly on
top of it. They pick themselves up, exchange a "Wow, lucky
huh?" look. Bear then picks up Shark shakes him free of
slack, so that he becomes sword-like again. He rushes into
the cave, roaring like Braveheart. Beat. A column of flame
erupts out of the mouth of the cave. Bear and Shark, now
burned to a crispy black trudge out of the cave.
INT. DRAGON'S HOUSE
Dragon is wearing a chef's apron and hat. He's holding a
trembling Steve with an apple in his mouth. There's a knock
on the stone door. Dragon opens it to reveal Bear and Shark
holding a kidnapped PRINCESS. They gesture for a swap.
Dragon considers this for a moment. He spins her around for
inspection, and judges her heft. Finally he decides she's no
good and hands her back. Bear and Shark are furious at this
rejection, and prepare to attack dragon,
EXT. DRAGON CAVE
Again a column of flame erupts out of the cave. Bear, Shark
and Princess trudge out, burnt to a crisp. Bear is still a
little bit on fire. Princess slaps Bear and Shark's faces
and then curtly exits. Bear and Shark shake off the
burntness. Bear is furious. He paces and waves his arms
angrily. Shark tries to comfort him, but Bear just bats him
away. How could anyone steal THEIR Steve? He notices a sign
posted on a tree with a picture of the princess they
kidnapped on it. The text reads 'MISSING' above and 'REWARD'
below. Bear scratches his chin, then a Steve shaped light
bulb appears above his head, which Shark quickly eats. Bear
looks annoyed, Shark shrugs and smiles sheepishly.
A 'MISSING' sign with a picture of Steve and the Dragon
above and pictures of gold and dollar signs below is nailed
to a tree. A gruff, armored knight with a frowny mustache
inspects the sign, then nods his head. Behind a tree, Bear
and Shark flash each other thumbs up.
INT. DRAGON'S HOUSE
Dragon flips through the pages of a cookbook labeled "Serfs
Up, Soups On." while holding Steve coiled in his tail.
Suddenly a loud knock is heard at his door. Steve looks up
hopefully. The dragon looks angry. He swings open the stone
door and instantly blasts fire on the intruder. Once the
smoke clears, we see the frowny mustache knight rise up, his
shield still smoking from the blast, and charge at the
dragon. Steve looks ecstatic, but quickly changes his tune
when the dragon swings his tail forward to swipe at the
Knight. The Knight sidesteps and stomps on the dragon's
tail, causing Steve to be released. In one swift motion, the
Knight catches Steve and plunges his sword deep into the
Dragon's heart. The dragon shrieks, then falls over dead.
(Note: all violence should be cartoon-y and not graphic.)
Steve is thrilled. He clasps his hands and gives the Knight
a doe-eyed "my hero" face. Suddenly, the knight's head is
spit out of his helmet, revealing Shark's toothy smile. He
waves at Steve, whose jaw drops. He tries to escape, but
bear rises from the mid-section of the armor and grabs him.
Bear then tosses Steve up to Shark, who is sitting on his
shoulders piggy-back style. Shark catches him in his mouth
and swallows him whole. They high-five (Shark using the
Knight's armored arm) while another bolt of lightning
strikes behind them.
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE CARD: BearShark!
TITLE CARD: Next time on BearShark:
A Chef plays an accordion on a moonlit night. We pan over to
reveal BEAR and SHARK seated a dinner table already eating
Steve from opposite ends. They both chomp in on him, until
their lips make momentary glancing contact, a la Lady and
the Tramp. They pull away bashfully.