From CH Staff on
It's your fantasy fantasy series.
By Patrick Cassels & Owen Parsons
EXT. KINGS LANDING - SEPT OF BAELOR The climactic execution scene from season one. NED STARK kneels on the steps as KING JOFFREY & his court watch on. JOFFREY Ser Ilyn, bring me his head. SANSA Father, no! A tense moment as SER ILYN raises the sword. He brings the sword down. CLOSE ON BLADE: Ned's hands catch it in midair. NED STARK In the Game of Thrones, I win. You die. Awesome music kicks up as Ned hacks Ilyn's head off, then starts killing Lannister guardsmen left and right. JOFFREY No! I'm the king! Kill him! A tap on his shoulder. Reveal SANSA, who stabs him. JOFFREY Urgh- my betrothed! SANSA Love hurts. NED STARK Sansa, down! Sansa ducks as Ned hurls his greatsword at them. It spears Joffrey to the wall. PEASANT Kill him more! Ned tears Joffrey down. In three quick shots we see him: UPPERCUT Joffrey savagely in the gut, POWERBOMB Joffrey through a table, then FLIP Joffrey's crown upside down, rip Joffrey's leg off, and swing it down like a bat on the crown, smashing it down into Joffrey's head, which explodes. INT. THE WALL - CASTLE BLACK JON SNOW talks to LORD MORMONT. SAM bursts through the door. JON SNOW Sam! What's wrong? SAM The White Walkers have found a shortcut through the Wall! Four frost zombies burst through the door after him. Jon, Sam and Mormont draw swords and start fighting. LORD MORMONT Tell the rangers to stop wandering around in the snow! We're going to be fighting White Walkers like all the time now! GUARD (O.S.) So awesome! INT. HARRENHAL - LORD TYWIN'S CHAMBER ARYA clears plates from the table. TYWIN catches her arm. TYWIN Where did you say you were from? ARYA King's Landing, my lord. Tense moment as Tywin searches her face. TYWIN Arya... Stark? A sword pierces Tywin's throat. He falls forward, dead, revealing SYRIO FOREL. ARYA Syrio! I thought you died! SYRIO Not today. I had help from a clever imp, and his newest invention: the Wildfire Gun. He holds up a flintlock pistol filled with green liquid. SYRIO And he made one for you, too! Syrio tosses Aria another pistol. SMASH TO: Arya & Syrio, back to back, shouting, blasting green fire into the faces of screaming Lannister guardsmen. LANNISTER GUARD (O.S.) Oh shit, this is radical! INT. KINGS LANDING - QUEEN'S CHAMBER TYRION and CERSEI face off. TYRION I'm divorcing myself from the Lannisters. I am now Tyrion, of House Halfman! CERSEI You can't do that! TYRION My new friends say otherwise. He snaps his fingers. DAENERYS bursts through the wall, topless, riding her fully grown dragon & flanked by her two other dragons. The main dragon eats Cersei. TYRION Apparently dragons have a taste for bitter fruit. DEANERYS Tyrion of House Halfman! Come, we fly north to save Winterfell. I have a dragon for you to ride. And one for you as well, Jon Snow. SLIGHT PAN from Tyrion reveals Jon Snow. He pumps his fists. JON SNOW Woo! INT. THE RIVERLANDS - ROBB STARK'S TENT ROBB and CATELYN discuss over a war map. CATELYN How will we win this war? ROBB Don't worry. I've assembled a team of expendable warriors. Brienne. Bronn. The Hound. And Jamie Lannister, who's good now. Cut to each character in the tent. JAMIE But just as witty. CATELYN All of them, together? GUARD IN BACKGROUND (whispering to himself) So sick. Cut to battlefield: metal plays as the GoT characters kick ass and take names. EXT. WINTERFELL - COURTYARD THEON is about to behead RODRIK CASSEL. THEON How dare you disrespect me! I am Theon Greyjoy! I'll take your head! He swings the sword down. CLOSE ON BLADE: Ned Stark's hands once again catch it in midair. Ned tears the sword away. THEON (groveling) Lord Stark! Noooo! Please! I'm so friggin' sorry! Ned throws the sword away. THEON Thank you! Ned pulls out a Wildfire Gun. THEON NOOOOOO! Ned torches Theon with green flame. Theon runs screaming to a cliff and jumps off. THEON I'm so dead! Tyrion, riding his dragon, swoops down in midair. The dragon nibbles up Theon in midair anticlimactically. End.