INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Pat strolls into the office and finds Streeter working on a
standing desk. (Pat and Streeter sit across from each other)
Whoa, lose your chair or something?
What, no, this? Yeah, this is just
a standing desk. What do you use?
And you sit in it?
Oooh, you know what, you really
shouldn't use one of those. Sitting
is killing us.
Streeter, without looking up, smugly smiles. Pat turns and
Streeter walks into the office to find Pat also working on a
standing desk, but the computer is way above his head and he
had to hold both his arms straight up to touch the keys.
Hey, so, uh, what is that? Is that
a standing desk?
This? No, god no. No, this is a
stretching desk. Ooh, according to
LifeHacker, standing and not
stretching is killing us.
Oh, yeah, tot-
Let me just show you...
Pat walks over to where Streeter is working on his standing
desk. He starts working on Streeter's desk, all bent up.
Ok, OW - I can feel myself dying.
I thought it was healthy.
Well cavemen thought shit tasted
No they didn't.
Pat is working at his stretching desk, he hears typing and
looks around but doesn't see Streeter. He looks down and see
streeter working on a floor desk, on all fours.
Ooh, standing is actually a really
unnatural body posture, so I went
ahead and got a simian desk, which
is how our monkey ancestors
actually got work done. I'm sure
you've heard of it.
Hey, we have that meeting with
Sorry Pat, meeting.
Sam walks away as Streeter monkey walks next to him. They
make normal business conversation.
Pat is working completely nude.
Ooh, newsflash, turns out that
posture isn't really important,
it's more about letting your skin
Pat stands and picks at Street's shirt.
Clothes are just tight fitting
prison cells. Me, you can hear my
Street listens. There's a faint hiss.
Wow, that's...you're farting.
Sam comes over.
Pat, we have that meeting with the
Shanghai group...Ugh, who farted?!
Wide of the whole office. Watt tentatively raises his hand.
Pat finds Streeter working in a pen surrounded by dogs.
Ooh, certain ancient cultures say
that working in close proximity to
canines promotes increased brain
Streeter sees Pat running full speed with a desk/computer on
Ooh, In Greco-Roman times -
Pat sees Streeter working with a HOLY MAN swinging a censer
full of smoking incense and chanting in Latin
Ooh, the scrolls of elderwile teach
Street sees Pat is laid out on a massage table, getting a
massage from an OLD ASIAN WOMAN
Ooh, on an atomic level -
Street and Pat are both working at their desks normally.
They fake smile at each other.
Ooh, you know what -
I do know what. Weird desks are for
Pull back to reveal both sitting on exercise balls.
Pull back further to reveal Pat still getting a massage from
the Old Asian Woman and Street still has the Holy Man
swinging the incense.
TAG - post credit
CU on Watt packing up his desk into a box. Sam stands behind