From CH Staff on
We explore the similarities between these two fragile relationships.
By Jeff Rubin & Dan Gurewitch
PHONE RELATIONSHIP (Jeff & Dan) 3/6/13 INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS JIM, 20s, an affable-looking dude, strolls down the street. NARRATOR (V.O.) This is Jim. Jim just got into a new relationship. Jim smiles wide as he meets up with and KISSES his CUTE NEW GIRLFRIEND, in line at the Apple Store. He BUYS A NEW iPHONE 4S at the APPLE STORE, exuberantly happy. From here on out, the narration apparently describes his relationship while the visuals are all about his phone. NARRATOR (V.O.) Jim is in love. Jim takes the iPhone out of its box, admires its sheen, and TENDERLY STROKES IT. He sounds just slightly turned on: JIM Ugh, yeah. So gorgeous. NARRATOR (V.O.) He spends every waking moment with her. Jim sits, engrossed in his phone, as the background changes behind him: AT A COFFEE SHOP. IN THE PARK. ON THE TOILET. BESIDE A CASKET AT A FUNERAL, IGNORING A GRIEVING MOTHER. NARRATOR (V.O.) She's the first thing he sees every morning. A sleepy Jim, in bed, turns to his phone in morning light: JIM What's the weather going to be like today? NARRATOR (V.O.) And the last thing he sees every night. Jim, in bed, turns to his phone in the dark of night: JIM Can you set the alarm for 8:30? NARRATOR (V.O.) Each day, he learns exciting new things about her. Jim fiddles with his phone's camera, dazzled. JIM Wow, you make films? NARRATOR (V.O.) He starts ignoring his friends, in favor of spending time with her. A gathering of friends talks and laughs. A few feet away, Jim antisocially fidgets with his phone. NARRATOR (V.O.) When he does talk to his friends, it's always about how slim and attractive she is, and all the amazing things she can do. Jim gushes about his phone to his friends, demonstrating various apps and features. NARRATOR (V.O.) When he messes up, he does everything he can to make it right. Jim drops his phone, breaking the screen. CUT TO: Jim paying for and receiving a brand new screen at the Apple Store. NARRATOR (V.O.) And he pampers her, buying her things she doesn't really need. QUICK CUTS: Jim outfits the phone with GOOFY CASES (Lobster! Giant Ear!); attaches it to complicated WIRES and ADAPTERS. NARRATOR (V.O.) But as time goes by, things that used to be easy start to seem hard. Jim waves his phone around, trying in vain to get service. NARRATOR (V.O.) She doesn't surprise Jim anymore, and he begins to see her flaws. JIM (yelling at his phone) I told you to remind me about Stacy's birthday! NARRATOR (V.O.) He complains about her to his friends. Jim shows a loading Internet video to his friends. JIM (rolling his eyes) Sorry, it always takes forever get ready. NARRATOR (V.O.) When he wants to spend time with her at night, she says she doesn't have the energy. Jim looks at his phone in romantic late-night bedroom light. The screen reads "Low Battery: 10% of Battery Remaining." NARRATOR (V.O.) As the realization sets in that they won't be together forever, he starts to get careless. Jim drops his phone, breaking the screen as before - but this time, he just PICKS IT UP, SHRUGS, and walks on. NARRATOR (V.O.) They fight in public. They fight in the car. Jim yells at his phone on the street. Jim DRIVES, clearly LOST. He yells at his phone (it's in GPS NAVIGATION MODE). JIM I thought you said make a right! Silence. The GPS screen is "LOADING." JIM Well, say something! More silence. More loading. JIM (quietly, emotionally hurt) Why won't you talk to me? NARRATOR (V.O.) Jim's eyes start to wander. Jim strolls by the Apple store, looking at a shipment of NEW PHONES (IPHONE 5s) in display cases. He bites his lip, and coyly pretends to not be looking even though he is. NARRATOR (V.O.) One night, he strays, to fulfill needs she can no longer meet. Jim, fed up with his phone, shoves it in his pocket and borrows a FRIEND'S PHONE to complete the task. NARRATOR (V.O.) Finally, he leaves her. Jim accidentally leaves his phone in a cab. He realizes, just as the cab drives away. NARRATOR (V.O.) For a little while, he's helpless. Lost. Alone. QUICK CUTS: Jim stares at messy hand-drawn directions, confused. Jim looks for change for a shitty old payphone. NARRATOR (V.O.) But eventually, he starts a new relationship. In a DIRECT PARALLEL to the first scene, Jim is exuberantly happy as he purchases an iPHONE 5. NARRATOR (V.O.) Jim is smiling and starry-eyed as a wave of excitement washes over him. Surely, things will be different this time. As Jim leaves the Apple Store, SMILING, two APPLE EMPLOYEES walk into the store with a HUGE BOX LABELED "IPHONE 6." END. TAG: INT. JIM'S APARTMENT Jim is fiddling with his new phone when JIM'S GIRLFRIEND walks in the front door, angry. JIM'S GIRLFRIEND Where the fuck have you been these last eight months? END.