From CH Staff on
The gang is introduced to a robot that's so sexy it's scary and then stops being sexy.
By Josh Ruben, Dan Gurewitch & Emily Axford
INT. ROOM - NIGHT ANU & EMILY have a really intimate conversation in CLOSE-UP. EMILY Anu, you've been working so hard tonight producing these videos for the All Nighter. ANU I know, Emily, I'm so stressed ou- EMILY You need to get off. May I present to you the SEX BOT FUCK-O-TRON Y2K 2011! Sit down. Sit down Anu. Anu leaves awkwardly as we- REVEAL: a CONFERENCE ROOM filled with people. Their conversation wasn't so intimate after all. Next to Emily and Anu: a BIG BOX. Emily YANKS A ROPE. The box falls INWARD. The FUCK-O-TRON (Josh) juts its arms out, hurling the panels of the box to the floor. He reveals himself fully: he's a "robot" in a SILVER JUMPSUIT. EMILY The Fuck-O-Tron is a state of the art fuck machine robot capable of delivering pleasure to the most fickle lover with his plethora of scientifically tested erotic settings. She PLUGS HIM INTO THE WALL. We HEAR ELECTRIC CURRENTS. Josh's robot thing WHIRRS TO LIFE. **This is a machine - everytime Fuck-O-Tron moves, chomps or chops, it's with a ROBOTIC SOUND. FUCK O TRON I AM FUCK-O-TRON. I AM READY TO PLEASE YOU. For every mode, Emily flips a SWITCH on a REMOTE CONTROL. EMILY Foreplay mode. FUCK O TRON I LOVE YOUR LAUGH. I KNOW THE SPOT THAT DRIVES YOU CRAZY. Fuck O Tron moves his head back and forth too fast and makes an aggressive POINT gesture. The audience "OOOoOos". FUCK O TRON TENDER TOUCH. TENDER TOUCH. Fuck-O-Tron punches the air really hard. Everyone's in total awe and a little turned on. Someone takes an Instagram. EMILY Dirty talk. FUCK O TRON THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU REAL WET. YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU WHORE. EMILY Too much? No problem. Calibrate your "Innocent" settings. FUCK O TRON BE GENTLE, IT'S MY FIRST TIME. THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. JESUS CHRIST, YOUR SKIN. I CAN'T EVEN. EMILY Hey ladies. I hope you like oral sex. ALL LADIES IN THE ROOM EVEN THE GUYS Who DON'T?! Emily hits a switch. Fuck-O-Tron makes CHOMPS LIKE CRAZY. Emily hits another switch. FUCK O TRON I SURE DO LOVE EATING THAT PUSSY. CHECK THE OIL AND RING THE BELL. WOLVERINE-like CLAWS protrude from his hands. EMILY For those of us that love to up the intensity, Fuck-O-Tron has something for you! FUCK O TRON DO THE ALPHABET. Fuck-O-Tron whips his tongue wildly and FOAMS AT THE MOUTH. EMILY That's battery acid, ladies! Streeter "OOoOOoOhs" like a Southern mom on Rachel Ray. EMILY Let's talk about SEX! She flips a switch. Fuck-O-Tron humps the air like crazy. Each hump, a DANGEROUS, METALLIC CRANK and WHIRR with it. FUCK O TRON I'VE NEVER BEEN WITH A SQUIRTER BEFORE. Anu rests her chin on her hands and bats her eyes. FUCK O TRON BUTT PLAY. BUTT PLAY. GENTLE NIPPLE TWEAKING. Fuck smashes his hands together, jabs his elbows up down left and right and chomps his teeth like crazy. MURPH (shooting up his hand) What about his dick?! CLOSE UP ON A BLURRED OUT JACKHAMMER on FULL SPEED. CLOSE-UP on FUCK-O-TRON'S CRAZY EYES over the deafening sound of the jackhammer. END.