A story of love, loss and whether Deep Impact is better than Armageddon.
By Patrick Cassels
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT A cute couple, ELLIE and PETER, are holding hands and enjoying a romantic dinner. PETER Oh, sweetie, we should head to the theater if we want to get tickets. PETER Don't worry. I ordered them online. I'm that excited about this movie! ELLIE Me too! White House under attack. A former secret service agent to the rescue- PETER -played by badass Gerard Butler. ELLIE Y- you mean Channing Tatum. In "White House Down," right? PETER I got tickets to "Olympus Has Fallen." Wait, you'd rather see "White House Down?" ELLIE (moves her hand away) You wouldn't? PETER Wow. (shakes it off) Hey, so what? We like different movies with similar plots that come out at the same time. Guess we're not a "perfect" match. He laughs. Ellie sips some wine and forces a smile. ELLIE Who knows, maybe I'll like this movie. It does have Morgan Freeman. PETER So awesome in "Deep Impact." That movie's great. ELLIE But not as great as "Armageddon." Peter looks devastated. Ellie is shocked. ELLIE You like "Deep Impact" more than "Armageddon?!" PETER I thought you knew! Who do you think you've been dating the last year? ELLIE Someone who likes "Antz" more than "A Bug's Life!" Peter bursts out laughing. PETER (off her hurt look) Oh, you were serious- baby, I didn't mean it, I DIDN'T MEAN IT... Ellie jumps up. Peter tries to stop her. She recoils. ELLIE DON'T, PETER! I just need time to think about things. About us! PETER Let's just go back to my place, and relax. "Finding Nemo" is on Instant. Ellie looks away. A look of sad recognition washes over Peter's face. He closes his eyes, resigned. PETER You like "Shark's Tale." (shaking his head) Who are you? Ellie turns and runs out the door, crying. THUNDER CLAPS. INT. ELLIE'S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT Ellie is sitting cross-legged on a couch, drinking tea from a mug. She's surrounded by supportive GIRLFRIENDS. GIRLFRIEND 1 You need to stop looking for "Mr. Right" and start looking for "Mr. Right Now I'll Watch 'The Illusionist' Instead of 'The Prestige.'" ELLIE I just always had this perfect vision growing up: I'd meet a guy, and we'd both like "Volcano" more than "Dante's Peak." "Infamous" more than "Capote." The girlfriends SWOON at this thought. GIRLFRIEND 2 (sarcastic) When you meet this guy, give me those directions to fantasy land. Everyone LAUGHS. Beat. Girlfriend 3 gives a naughty look: GIRLFRIEND 3 Chris likes "The Thin Red Line" more than "Saving Private Ryan." The girls FREAK OUT ("Ohmigod!" "For how long?!"). Girlfriend 3 shrugs playfully. Ellie is lost in thought. INT. STRIP CLUB - LATER Peter is out with his GUY FRIENDS. He sits at a bar alone, looking sad. GUY FRIEND 1 approaches with JADE, a stripper. GUY FRIEND 1 Forget her, dude. She's probably one of those chicks who like "United 93" more than "World Trade Center." PETER It wasn't like that, man. GUY FRIEND 1 This'll cheer you up. Meet Jade. She's got a striptease for you. Jade nuzzles up to Peter and hands him a "Striptease" DVD. JADE (sultry) So much better than "Showgirls." Peter looks at the DVD, tempted. He jumps up. PETER I'm sorry! I can't! Peter runs out the door. EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT It's pouring rain. Ellie and a DASHING MAN are about to walk into a theater. The marquee reads "WHITE HOUSE DOWN." DASHING MAN I'm glad Christina set us up. I've been wanting to see this for weeks! ELLIE (sighs) Me too. I guess. Peter runs up. He's soaking wet, and SHOUTS over the rain. PETER Ellie! Wait! ELLIE Peter? What are you doing here? PETER (helplessly shrugs) Fine! You're right: I like "No Strings Attached" and you like "Friends With Benefits." I like "Virtuosity" and you like "Johnny Mnemonic." I'm from "Mission to Mars" and you're from the "Red Planet." But, darn it, I'd prefer you to any other girl I met within the same release season! Ellie is moved, but conflicted. Peter takes a breath, as though he's about to confess something profound. PETER I never told anyone this, but I always thought "Paul Blart"- ELLIE / PETER -was way better than "Observe and Report!" Ellie smiles. She looks to Dashing Guy. DASHING GUY Go to him. Ellie runs to Peter. They kiss! PULL OUT. CREDITS ROLL over them. REVERSE reveals a GUY and GIRL in a theater, watching. GUY / GIRL That was great. / Sucked. END.