A story of love, loss and whether Deep Impact is better than Armageddon.
By Patrick Cassels
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A cute couple, ELLIE and PETER, are holding hands and
enjoying a romantic dinner.
Oh, sweetie, we should head to the
theater if we want to get tickets.
Don't worry. I ordered them online.
I'm that excited about this movie!
Me too! White House under attack. A
former secret service agent to the
-played by badass Gerard Butler.
Y- you mean Channing Tatum. In
"White House Down," right?
I got tickets to "Olympus Has
Fallen." Wait, you'd rather see
"White House Down?"
(moves her hand away)
(shakes it off)
Hey, so what? We like different
movies with similar plots that come
out at the same time. Guess we're
not a "perfect" match.
He laughs. Ellie sips some wine and forces a smile.
Who knows, maybe I'll like this
movie. It does have Morgan Freeman.
So awesome in "Deep Impact." That
But not as great as "Armageddon."
Peter looks devastated. Ellie is shocked.
You like "Deep Impact" more than
I thought you knew! Who do you
think you've been dating the last
Someone who likes "Antz" more than
"A Bug's Life!"
Peter bursts out laughing.
(off her hurt look)
Oh, you were serious- baby, I
didn't mean it, I DIDN'T MEAN IT...
Ellie jumps up. Peter tries to stop her. She recoils.
DON'T, PETER! I just need time to
think about things. About us!
Let's just go back to my place, and
relax. "Finding Nemo" is on
Ellie looks away. A look of sad recognition washes over
Peter's face. He closes his eyes, resigned.
You like "Shark's Tale."
(shaking his head)
Who are you?
Ellie turns and runs out the door, crying. THUNDER CLAPS.
INT. ELLIE'S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT
Ellie is sitting cross-legged on a couch, drinking tea from
a mug. She's surrounded by supportive GIRLFRIENDS.
You need to stop looking for "Mr.
Right" and start looking for "Mr.
Right Now I'll Watch 'The
Illusionist' Instead of 'The
I just always had this perfect
vision growing up: I'd meet a guy,
and we'd both like "Volcano" more
than "Dante's Peak." "Infamous"
more than "Capote."
The girlfriends SWOON at this thought.
When you meet this guy, give me
those directions to fantasy land.
Everyone LAUGHS. Beat. Girlfriend 3 gives a naughty look:
Chris likes "The Thin Red Line"
more than "Saving Private Ryan."
The girls FREAK OUT ("Ohmigod!" "For how long?!").
Girlfriend 3 shrugs playfully. Ellie is lost in thought.
INT. STRIP CLUB - LATER
Peter is out with his GUY FRIENDS. He sits at a bar alone,
looking sad. GUY FRIEND 1 approaches with JADE, a stripper.
GUY FRIEND 1
Forget her, dude. She's probably
one of those chicks who like
"United 93" more than "World Trade
It wasn't like that, man.
GUY FRIEND 1
This'll cheer you up. Meet Jade.
She's got a striptease for you.
Jade nuzzles up to Peter and hands him a "Striptease" DVD.
So much better than "Showgirls."
Peter looks at the DVD, tempted. He jumps up.
I'm sorry! I can't!
Peter runs out the door.
EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT
It's pouring rain. Ellie and a DASHING MAN are about to walk
into a theater. The marquee reads "WHITE HOUSE DOWN."
I'm glad Christina set us up. I've
been wanting to see this for weeks!
Me too. I guess.
Peter runs up. He's soaking wet, and SHOUTS over the rain.
Peter? What are you doing here?
Fine! You're right: I like "No
Strings Attached" and you like
"Friends With Benefits." I like
"Virtuosity" and you like "Johnny
Mnemonic." I'm from "Mission to
Mars" and you're from the "Red
Planet." But, darn it, I'd prefer
you to any other girl I met within
the same release season!
Ellie is moved, but conflicted. Peter takes a breath, as
though he's about to confess something profound.
I never told anyone this, but I
always thought "Paul Blart"-
ELLIE / PETER
-was way better than "Observe and
Ellie smiles. She looks to Dashing Guy.
Go to him.
Ellie runs to Peter. They kiss! PULL OUT. CREDITS ROLL over
them. REVERSE reveals a GUY and GIRL in a theater, watching.
GUY / GIRL
That was great. / Sucked.